Sucker Punched

Today I got a reality check.  A big, fat ass reality check.  Now, if I'm going to be honest with myself, I know I've gained some weight recently.  I've been seeing the difference in my clothes and how my body is chunkier in some places.  I've been having a talk with myself for at least a couple of months now, trying to decide when I'm ready to get started on a diet/exercise plan, thinking about what I'll do to go about losing weight, etc.  I kept putting it off.  But today...oh man... I got smacked in the face with what I really look like.  I went to a baby shower over the weekend.  There were a lot of pictures being taken.  Not a lot of me (thank God) but there were a few.  I decided I'd get on Facebook and see what was posted. There were a ton of the mom-to-be, her relatives, opening gifts and then I see one of me. Damn. I look like my mom... in a fat suit. You know those fake looking fat suits they put people in on a sitcom or some show where they are emphasizing how fat someone is or was?  For example, young Monica on Friends.  Fat suit Monica that they make fun of.  That was me.  Except, this was real.  This wasn't some bullshit sitcom where everyone laughs and any problems they have were solved in 30 minutes.  This shit wasn't funny either.  I looked at the picture again.  I was looking at it on my phone so I started talking to myself thinking maybe the phone was distorting it a little.  Looked at someone else's picture... Nope, they don't look distorted.  Oh man.  I'm pissed, I'm sad, I'm in shock.  Why did you do this again? It was like I didn't know I had gained weight.  But, I did know.  I was just seeing it like that... ugh.

So, I made a decision.  I'm going to pout tonight.  I'm going to get my little hurt feelings out of the way for one evening. Then, tomorrow, I'm going to make a plan and start something... anything.  TOMORROW.  Now it's in black and white.  I'm committing to it right now.  I'm serious.  No going back, no more of that, I'll start on Monday crap or whatever lame excuse I can use to prolong it one more day. Done and done.  Ok, so not really done.  I have a loooong road ahead of me but I'm doing it.  I don't want to look like that girl in the fat suit anymore.  

Also, I got this book from one of my step-sisters for Christmas that is called Organize Now. It doesn't read like a novel or a how-to book but more like action chapters.  There are To Do lists by weeks and I really would like to do it.  I went through and crossed out the chapters that didn't apply to me like, Organize Your Child's Toys or Organize Your Yard & Garden. This week's chapter is Organize Your Mind & Life Vision.  I'm going to start there and report my progress. Getting this book and seeing those shocking pictures of myself, may just be what I really needed to get my 2011 going strong.