Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sucker Punched

Today I got a reality check.  A big, fat ass reality check.  Now, if I'm going to be honest with myself, I know I've gained some weight recently.  I've been seeing the difference in my clothes and how my body is chunkier in some places.  I've been having a talk with myself for at least a couple of months now, trying to decide when I'm ready to get started on a diet/exercise plan, thinking about what I'll do to go about losing weight, etc.  I kept putting it off.  But today...oh man... I got smacked in the face with what I really look like.  I went to a baby shower over the weekend.  There were a lot of pictures being taken.  Not a lot of me (thank God) but there were a few.  I decided I'd get on Facebook and see what was posted. There were a ton of the mom-to-be, her relatives, opening gifts and then I see one of me. Damn. I look like my mom... in a fat suit. You know those fake looking fat suits they put people in on a sitcom or some show where they are emphasizing how fat someone is or was?  For example, young Monica on Friends.  Fat suit Monica that they make fun of.  That was me.  Except, this was real.  This wasn't some bullshit sitcom where everyone laughs and any problems they have were solved in 30 minutes.  This shit wasn't funny either.  I looked at the picture again.  I was looking at it on my phone so I started talking to myself thinking maybe the phone was distorting it a little.  Looked at someone else's picture... Nope, they don't look distorted.  Oh man.  I'm pissed, I'm sad, I'm in shock.  Why did you do this again? It was like I didn't know I had gained weight.  But, I did know.  I was just seeing it like that... ugh.

So, I made a decision.  I'm going to pout tonight.  I'm going to get my little hurt feelings out of the way for one evening. Then, tomorrow, I'm going to make a plan and start something... anything.  TOMORROW.  Now it's in black and white.  I'm committing to it right now.  I'm serious.  No going back, no more of that, I'll start on Monday crap or whatever lame excuse I can use to prolong it one more day. Done and done.  Ok, so not really done.  I have a loooong road ahead of me but I'm doing it.  I don't want to look like that girl in the fat suit anymore.  

Also, I got this book from one of my step-sisters for Christmas that is called Organize Now. It doesn't read like a novel or a how-to book but more like action chapters.  There are To Do lists by weeks and I really would like to do it.  I went through and crossed out the chapters that didn't apply to me like, Organize Your Child's Toys or Organize Your Yard & Garden. This week's chapter is Organize Your Mind & Life Vision.  I'm going to start there and report my progress. Getting this book and seeing those shocking pictures of myself, may just be what I really needed to get my 2011 going strong.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

2011...New Year, New Me

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Every year for the past 2 or 3 years, I say I'm going to start a blog. In 2008, I started a beauty blog that lasted a few months and maybe 4 posts or so and then I burned out. I just ran out of topics, got lazy, etc. Last year, I decided I'd go a different route and start a personal blog. I got with my friend who does graphic design on the side, he helped me get the image on my blog all set up and what did I do? Nothing. It's been sitting there, taking up internet space until now. I honestly have no idea what I'm going to write about yet but I have a couple of random ideas. We'll see what takes. I hope I don't bore anyone to death.

My 2011 has started off pretty strong so far. I'm feeling very inspired lately to sort of revamp my life. This includes: my money situation, my apartment/storage unit, my weight, and my overall well being. I took off the first two days of the year to get a jump start. I started by rearranging my apartment, taking a TON of crap to Goodwill and getting my friend, Rod, to help me paint and do some minor upgrades to my apartment. So far, my bathroom has had a huge overhaul (new mirror, glass shelves and paint), I rearranged furniture so my apartment looks a little bigger and I'm able to use storage space that's been inaccessible since I've lived there. We went to Ikea and I bought a little desk that I put in my dining room and I'm turning that into my little workspace. Hopefully a lot of blogging will get done there! I already feel like a ton has been lifted off of me. I've had these ideas in my head forever and it's awesome to have finally put them into action. There are a few more things I'd like to get accomplished but those happen a little at a time as the money comes. The next HUGE project though is to clean out that big ass storage unit I have. There is a ton of un-needed crap in there and I've just been putting it off because it's such a massive thing. I would venture to guess that 80% of the junk in there is clothing I will never wear again. It's just a matter of spending my day (or two) going thru it all and hauling it off. If I can do that, I can also save a lot of money by getting a storage unit half the size of the one I have. This will play into my "getting my finances under control" goal too. Baby steps, people. Baby steps!